Posted by: Ariel | February 24, 2012

“Editing for Concision: A Primer”

It was getting dark by the time gym class let out and she filed with the other field hockey girls back into the main school building. She stopped for a second at the water fountain, and when she stood up, Mark was standing by his locker looking at her. “Hey Trace!” he offered with a wave, and she heard her friends giggling to themselves up ahead. Her hand jerked for a second, but ended up flipping her hair over her shoulder instead of waving back.

When he looked at her, time stood still, but not in a good way. She simply did not know how to express her feelings without seeming totally uncool. It made for some desperate moments which stretched on interminably only to end in awkwardness.

She gazed at him longingly as he walked away, mesmerized by the curve of his spine bending back and forth. She realized she loved his spine, but hated the way it stole the words out of her mouth.

“Wait!” she wanted to scream. “Wait. I’m not the same as everyone else.” But she didn’t, and the moment passed.

Tomorrow, she decided, she would climb into his arms.


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