Posted by: Ariel | July 17, 2012


Everything is the past.

Everything I am, everything I was, everything I hate, and everything I’m not.

The past is all I know, the basis for all my judgements, all my fears and hopes. I have expectations, and they are either disappointed, met, or exceeded. Besides, I can only have each surprise once, and who knows when. Too little surprise and I will be bored. Too much and I will be afraid. I think we both know what’s going to happen.

What is left then to look forward to, when everything I see and hear is already fixed and unchangeable. Any deviations from the projection are retroactively smoothed out by my brain. Memories distort themselves to match whatever narrative I buy into. Even with the immutability of history, it can be made to make sense. It must. Distrust, betrayal, selfishness, hurt, mistakes, war. They must be smoothed out, or the past would overwhelm me. It’d overwhelm you.

You’re wondering why nobody else thinks this way. Why everyone is keen to be part of these exciting times, so excited for the future.

Well, they just don’t see that a song that goes on forever is probably stuck on loop.

Or maybe they knew that once, and forgot.


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