Posted by: Ariel | October 13, 2012

“Best Enemies”

I will wake up in the middle of the night and the blankets will be gone. I will be cold as I try to tug them back from her, and I may mutter dark things. Where you see someone sleeping, contented and at peace, I see only the enemy.

It’s not her fault, you’ll say. I will laugh and say bedsheet manufacturers don’t make a size for people who like to wrap themselves up like burritos.

The fact is, her subconscious won’t care about our half-jokes, nor our earnest promises to try a little harder to share. There will be no love lost between me and the enemy.

I will lie awake plotting the next move in the war, and retaliation will not be enough – there will be retribution. If she makes a soft noise and rolls away with the blanket still in her clutches, I will roll on top of her and right over her like a steamroller from the childhood game of the same name which my brothers and I invented to torture each other.

I will remember reading something about how marriage is like making an enemy that will last you the rest of your life. One that knows the worst about you, who sees you at your least flattering, and who may be the only person to truly understand how selfish and petty you are inside. It will ring as particularly profound at that moment.

Eventually, I will go back to sleep. We are not married, but as I look at her and the ruined burrito I will think that she is shaping up to be the best enemy I will ever have.

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